Its a concept thats familiar to all of us and something that we all try not to do, although whether a throwback from the society we live in, it is something that we indeed do.
At an early age we are taught by elders who not to trust and how to spot them, for our own safety of course. At school we are taught about appearance and how smart we should look both on the premises and outside. Then we get to working age, when your appearance is half the interview. It doesn't just come from an authorative side though, as peer groups work on appearance as much as attitude and sizing up a prospective boyfriend or girlfriend works on appearances too. We just can't get away from it!!
I've always baffled my Mum on my appearance, as up until the age on 13/14 I was a regular looking teenage girl......then over night I transformed into a Goth!! Shortly after that I became a Punk, then a New Age Traveller and now I'm just me! I'm still not conventional as my husband will attest and Mum always pays me the complement " Oooh, you smell just like one of those...... Hippy Shops" and " You look like you've just come from Reading Festival" At least I thinks its a complement and I know she doesn't mean any harm by it though!!
The strange thing is I've always been me! I didn't become depressed when I was a Goth, I didn't become aggressive when I was a Punk and neither did anyone else I knew at the time. Looks can be deceiving and these are judgements made by people who are intimidated or scared. Its very difficult indeed to express yourself when we are taught that we must be conventional to fit in. Slowly, slowly though things are changing and ok, so its not condusive to turn up at an interview with purple hair (unless you're going to be working in an environment that supports that appearance), but certainly judgement isn't as harsh as it used to be. Its more widely accepted to dress differently now.
Trying not to judge can be a difficult pattern to break too, it feels ingrained sometimes and we find ourselves doing it before we realise. Without knowing someone fully we cannot be sure of the assumption we may have jumped to and indeed may have got the wrong conclusion. I know I've got it wrong in the past and I know I shouldn't judge, having been judged myself - its difficult!
To be non-judgemental is a great acheivement to aspire to and makes ahappier world.
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A need to be objective. An intellectual endeavour. Success in comminications, exams, politics or debates.
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