Often though we don't put issues behind us, but instead carry them with us as a heavy weight, growing heavier and heavier with every attached issue. We all get attached to things, I know I do. Whether its people, objects, pets, routines, even patterns of thought.....not all are good for us, some of those can be pretty destructive, such as "I'm not very clever" or "I'm useless". However its not that easy to let go, as we don't like change too often, even if it means it is no longer serving us in positive way, we'd still sometimes rather stay in familiarity of it all. "Better the devil you know", is the saying....but its not always true!!! We can remain locked, trapped in destructive relationships, or difficult jobs, emotional stress, forever berating ourselves on how poorly we'd performed and how we could have been better. If its a past issue that has been and gone, but you keep revisiting it over and over, then let it go - you are only causing yourself pain and anguish. A current issue needs careful thinking over and deciding a plan of action, to stop the negative emotions continually consuming you - say for instance, you don't like your job and its wearing you down, then make plans to make a change....look for a new job perhaps.
In my past I was in a relationship with a very violent man, of course it didn't start off like that.....but over the ensuing months and then years, he showed his true colours. His pattern was drinking heavily and then abuse and violence in his alcohlic stupor. He'd wake the next day to find that he'd smashed up the house, beaten me up, or threw me literally out the house and locked the door for the night, whilst my young son was trapped inside with him. He put me in hospital many times, but I still kept going back and accepting his sober apologies that it wouldn't happen again. I wasn't fooled, I knew it would, but I was a fool because I kept going back for more abuse. What I didn't realise was, I was getting stronger, an inner strength, I was becoming more and more switched on and started making plans to end the relationship. That was the hardest bit, following through! I was more fearful of change than what I was currently living through, but I knew that I didn't deserve the treatment I was receiving. I managed it though, with the support of my family and stuck it out on my own. Once months had past and I really knew that it was over, I felt so happy and was so relieved that I had dealt this issue, I could now put it to bed as it were.
It has in fact taken me a lot longer to deal with it, to stop going over what had happened and wonder did I do enough to support him, maybe if I had been a little bit more understanding of his emotional situation I could have helped him. I now know that I was keeping myself locked in a cycle of self hurt and in reality he didn't want my help. Once this realisation was made, I could finally move on with my life and drop this negative baggage for I didn't need it. Not that long ago I forgave him - not literally, but in my mind. I set him free from my mind completely and sent him loving thoughts, for I know that he is a soul who has lost his way on his path and the fact that he is unaware, is sad, but it is ultimately of his choosing.
This is of course 'my story' and yours maybe different, but what is the same is the fact that all of us do not need to suffer through life. We will always be presented with problems and challenges, for its through these that we grow strong, but once dealt with and learnt from, its time to move on.....for we will only live 'this life' once, so make it a happy one.
Moon - Waning Gibbous 75%
Yoga - Stretchy Cat, Mountain, Butterfly, Tortoise, Downward Dog, Upward Dog, Earth Salutation
Card Message - The Fferyllt
Allow inner and outer,
masculine and feminine,
to blend within you to give birth to your Creative Self
Touched by your honesty Hxx
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