Internal Spring Clean

Space clearing, inside and out

Life has been quite challenging for me just of late, and it's not the usual running around with so much to do......it's been quite the opposite!!

I've been out of work for the last 8 weeks and I've found it really difficult at times.  There has been the stress you'd expect, such as no money, bills to pay, forever job-hunting and no jobs to be had, plus the worry and concern from my partner over the financial aspect, with no end in sight.  There has also been the loneliness, and the demoralisation from the rebuff of job applications.  What I didn't expect was that given this period of time, I ended up peeling back my layers, layers of emotions and states of mind, it was a bit like an internal spring clean......and because there is no time constraint, I dived straight into the abyss of me.....the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I found a complex and critical person, a deeply sensitive and emotional person, a childlike and vunerable person, a strong willed and tenacious person, a giving and loving person, all underneath the mantle of what people usually perceive as a 'confident' and 'self assured' person.  Everytime I am given these opportunities to have time to look within I usually encounter another aspect, that I never knew existed up until that point.  These period can be difficult, painful, and tiring on all levels.  Sometimes I seem to get stuck at some points, unable to move forward, unable to let go, unable to forgive myself and unable to love myself.  I'm thankful that usually when I'm getting to this point, my guardian angel sends me a 'knight in shining armour', in the form of a friend or close family member, to help me through the last bit.  To help me remember to let go of things I don't need, and to be gentle, loving and forgiving of myself.

It's been a hard task to get through, and it always feels that I'm at breaking point, before I can push through it all and move on.....it's a test of strength and faith, but I'm there.

So now I've spring cleaned myself, and cleared out a lot of the mind clutter, I now have room for new and exciting things ahead.......X



Moon - Waxing Gibbous 59%

Yoga - Surya Namaskara

Card Message - The Hermit
Turn away from the distractions of the outer world, and seek guidence.  In silence and solitude discover new depths, and refresh your soul at the source of all life.

1st February - Cross-quarter day: Imbolc, Oimelc, Brigantia/Kalends of February/St Bridget/Candlemas Eve
Imbolc is the fire festival between Yule and the vernal equinox.  The day of Imbolc is also that of her saintly aspect, St Bridhe or Brigid of Ireland.